All heroes have scars..

We all carry with us the things that we could not let the world to see,
they could be drowning us from within, they could be making us happy,
We could be ashamed for the world to see them,
We could be caging them so they could not flee,
I carry something too
I carry you with me.

I carry you everywhere I go,

You meet me when you’re there,

You meet me when you're not,

You meet me when I’m hoping you’ll be there,

You meet me when you’re far away, in a corner,

You meet me when we both pretend like we couldn’t care,

You meet me when you tell me I have glitter on my eyes,

You meet me when you cant look away,

 when I’m dancing with other guys,

You meet me when the words I didn't say haunt me,
You meet me when my friends surmise you like me,
You meet me everywhere I go,

And now you’re gone.

I thought it’d hurt me, I thought it’d make me cry,

But I’m happy,

Gone is the power you had over me,

Gone are the hopes I had,

Gone are the 11:11 wishes,

Gone are the drunk tweets for you,

The regrets of not having said or done what I should have,

The completeness of just your presence,

The tiring effort to like half of who a person you were,

Gone are the attempts to balance between strong like for you and my self-respect,

Gone are the oh-someone-else-is-saying-what-I-want-someone-else-to-say,

Gone are the late night make-believing of where we vent out and shape our future,

Gone are the mind-chains binding me to you, Here’s to freedom,

Gone are all the thinking about you, persuasion,

No more waiting for you to comprehend me,

No more trying to drop my ego and express,

No more waiting for you to break through my walls,

Babe, now bridges are burnt and the pages have turned,

You could be with any girl in the world,

It wouldn’t even matter anymore cuz it’s all gone. You took it along.

You were no incessant texts, you were no keeping promises, lending hoodies,

You were no love letters, drunk-late night long phone calls,

You were no rainy nights, holding hands, moon-light making out,

You were regrets, disappointments, defying logic, big mouth and bigger walls.

  

Walk away...

Its amazing how someone can mean so much to you in a couple of weeks' time,
Its amazing how someone can make you choke when he boards his flight, 
its amazing how you fall in hate for your city
And forget how to keep a conversation running,
And forget how easy once it was to breathe,
Amazing how u still talk about it a year later tonight,
how it all affects you, and kills you,
And I'm sure he thinks, you hate him or feel apathy,
But its amazing how he can push you from "almost love" to "almost apathy" without realizing any of it,
how he can rain on your parade of happy hopes and emotions and not know any of it,
Its amazing how you battled all of this,
This - virtual creation of an idea that never existed, this delusion of an ideal man that he never was,
This - turmoil of rejection, being abandoned, all these pangs of emotions that you created in your head,
The hope that he might write to you, realizing how much you still like him,
The hope that he will call you on your birthday,
The hope that he will tell you that he will visit you....
But he never did, cuz he never intended to,
Cuz you made a castle of your dreams and forgot to reality check if marbles or bricks even existed..
He found a girl, In her, almost found his family,
And here you are, finally getting a grip of apathy!

Delirious with Apathy

While you ran marathons, snow-slid with someone else,
I lie here waiting for my phone to notify me of your texts, 
Lately I wonder why I gave u the confidence to move on
Why I gave you the pleasure to belong to someone yet make me yours.

And you might think I found another, or hate you for what you did,
But honestly I don't blame you more than I blame myself,
For liking you more than you did,
And you walking away just showed me you never were as special as I pictured u in my head.

And I hate-talk to you when I'm sober and mush-talk to you when I'm drunk,
You don't get my deal or why m I vomitting such hurtful words,
And you don't get me, cuz you never did..
I'm just too in like with you to see you with another chic..

That I can't even sweet-text to u on the phone,
But u don't get it, like what makes me so mad,
That's just what makes me hate you more..
I've been lonely since you've been gone
To her arms, to her heart... N now that's where u belong.
But guess what, I liked u too much to attend ur funeral with tearful eyes,
Cuz u made me cry more than my share, while u r alive!

Ambition - to achieve, not beat others.

Let's forget with generosity those...

Hey!
I am plain writing. I think I wanna pen my feelings... I don't know where to start or how to shape it, it's been too long I wrote or read a good article. So this started after I saw a movie, and It made me cry. I am not a crier, I don't cry often or too easily. I am pretty strong.
The movie is called Picture Perfect, So in short what I noticed in this movie was - Kate (Jennifer Aniston) is a Good Girl to a Bad Guy but a Bad Girl to a Good Guy.
And I noticed I have had so many of these characters in my life. I hate how much power does one human have over another... but they so casually fail to use it, in a good, happy way.

I'm done dreamin' old dreams, wishin' old wishes, like hopin' you'ld be back again!

I hate how they can make your day by just a Hey there! text and you can be passing smiles at your recently made enemies and baffle them as to wtf's up.
I hate how they can make you wait for a text for over a week and then bump into you at a party and act like everything's just the same and pick up feelings from right where they dropped them, the last time that they met you.

I hate humans and their imbecilic lack of intellect.
Everyone is waiting for a miracle instead of being a miracle or their Mr/Ms Right to walk in, instead of being one. Everyone says they would make such a great husband but they just have not found the right one yet, So who are all those different women every night of the week? Friends?
Who are these women that tag pictures with you on Facebook? Friends?
Did you ever try to know anything about them, other than how it feels to be inside of them?
Did you ever try to study each one's psychology? How all of them are same yet so different. Did you even try to know them? like them? know how different each one of them is, how special one of them can be to you? Did you try to know how she peels oranges in a single strip, how everything heart-breaking never destroys her, how positive she is, how everyone other than you is in love with her, how crazy she is.

Eventually one of the two things will happen. He will realize you're worth it, or you'll realize he isn't!

Do you know she has had a tongue piercing? or that She is a Goddess of positivism and you make her so cynical.. and you wring her brain like you wring your damp hand-towel. Do you know you make her sick and everytime that she still gives you another chance, you never fail to disappoint her. Do you know all her friends hate you? Do you know she was a goth once? or that she wanted to worship the Satan? or that she wanted to be everything a person can be? Have you ever discussed her dreams or told yours, like normal people do. Do you know anything about her, other than..

Today I thought of you when I realized I hadn't thought of you at all!

Did you ever wonder why she is next to you after how you take your end minute trips and never tell her in advance... but why will you, right? why should you? I mean, you are not tied down to her. Your name means Free, and thus you are.

Y'know they are the type who would go to a Restaurant and want what is being eaten by the other guy in the Restaurant and not what they ordered, I hate how they can mean so much to you but not even appreciate it.
I hate how they can wake up one day and text you to tell you that they are leaving your country... for good and when you get all heart-broken like a pup and they sense it, they will tell you that they will miss you like crazy but would do nothing to change it. They will tell you they are leaving your country and then will actually do it. I hate how they never realize how much you like them when you are at their doorsteps at quarter to 12 in the midnight on a Wednesday night for their Thursday birthday, with a cake, in your favourite beautiful blue Maxi dress and matching blue ear-rings... and being the only one there.
And then you sleep together, and then he forgets to drop you to your car... But calls you next day, but don't get your hopes high, only to ask if the cake is eggless??? cuz his colleague is a vegetarian.
And then go out the Thursday night on their birthday, with their friends (All girls) and not even invite you.
Respectful.

He was playing all these games and I didn't even know their names or the rules!

And I hate how goodbyes feel, they hurt my throat. and I hate all those people who choose to say goodbyes without hoping they didnt have to.

What did you really think she was gonna do, she's a real woman, not a doormat for you!

I wish they are happy wherever they are and I also wish I never meet any such, in my future. This is one basket of men that I think are confused, disgusting, immoral and possess anything but a heart... and I am the happy, free-spirit who would want nice people around me, and not people who calculate others or don't get attached or say "I miss you!" and make your day and change your mood and push you a further deeper in like with him and bring on those puppy eyes in you, without they even understanding the second word of the text they just sent!

Perhaps we give the best of our hearts uncritically! To those who hardly think about us in return.

They are a whole new race.
They take nothing from you, maybe the jewelry you left behind at their place the other night (and they never tried to return it to you)... and they leave you with finding their look-alikes worth five looks.
Hate em.

:)

Cold Games

That slide set was treacherous,

Your games were making fun of us,

You were so busy having too much fun,

That you didn't care it could have made me fall in love!

But you didn't know I am the cold one,

Did you, babe?  I don’t think you know about anyone,

I knew you were the wrong one,

From the moment you said your name,

And I guess I was too drunk in ignorance,

Guess who will win this game..

I learnt everything you ever had time to tell me about yourself,

But do you still forget I work on weekends?
I learnt you never apologize to anyone,
Not cuz u r always right but cuz u run away from situations!

Knowing you felt like hating the same person, every week,

Hating you was like having to wring my head so cruelly,

Forgetting you was like thinking about u ten times more,

Thinking about u was to only conclude you are the biggest asshole.

So babe, Wasn't there always someone else?

I reckon that’s the Problem with men,

They put women on shelves to pick them,

when they might want one again.

And there is something cold-dead underneath the left side of ur ribs,

and now I know why you feel as cold as you always did.

And so I put my red lipstick on,

I go out, meet people and never drink alone,

I never look around, waiting, scanning doors,

My mind doesn’t echo douchey names,

My head knows no headache, my heart remembers no pain,

My company is never unpredictable,

You winning this game is gonna be, sadly, impossible!