Little Big Issues

so do i owe u, 4 all dose damned emotions i felt or shits i realized? 

like knowin what xactly a song meant wid "i cant breathe 2night"

or when someone said they r scared of how they would get thru

or when people felt they had done shits they wanted 2 undo.

Now I know y U didnot understand

when I explained what all i felt

when I felt u had cheated

when I heard U were abt 2 go

when I knew U believed it

when I said there was nothing more

Dont u think I would like to forgive u?

Cuz I know, how bad I wanna be with u!

But how 2 forget that girl? who drowned all da nights

cuddled in da corner of her bed, sleepless n blind

cuz there was just too much water in her eyes

2 c what u were doing or 2 even realize

All da feelings she felt :

,ofcourse u cant even name them,

she was scared of da dark

she had a broken heart

she felt huge loss of self-respect

sense of despair n loneliness

apathy 2wards everything else n loss of appetite

not listening to songs cuz every song made her cry

wish 2 call or text u, constantly

hoping it was u everytime her phone would ring

being hurt n depressed massively

thnkin how u myt meet her next n wot she wud say n rehearsing

Then U say, "Isnot Love about forgiveness??"

Uh! Love, 4giving is easy, 4getting aint!

U ask me 2 reminisce our happiness

but boy there were none U gave!!

Mirror in the dark

You say U love Me,& I stay quiet

I stare at U, This time I wont fight

I know It has hurt U, but think about  the times U have hurt HER???

She could have lost faith in God, Well! u wont even remember.

I know u r shocked 4 I loved u always

N now I look so over that phase

But then I have good memory

N I don’t need 2 b reminded of how she used 2 b!

How she killed dose endless sleepless nights

With the moon n her tears

I don’t need to be reminded that some nights

Even the moon did not turn up!!

But now  I know u love me, n r completely besotted by me

But WHAT DO I DO???

I got fuckin good memory of HER!

Cuz I have seen her talkin 2 the Moon

Livin her life like a dumb abandoned dog

I have seen her SO close –

That I could count the unlimited red nerves in her eyes

I have observed her so much that I knew

She could break down every moment u walked by

I have seen her jaw muscles trying

2smile when someone taunted of u

I have seen how bad she wished

to get u or get over u

N now u say u fuckin like me like no one would do

But my goddamn memory kicks my ass when I think of u

Cuz I have seen her sittin all alone

Wondering - has the moon “too” gone??

I have seen her so much- sometimes with tears , sometimes with wishes

N I have seen u , callous always taking her for granted

N then u temme u have changed

N u love me with ur heart in ur hand

But do u notice Its too late for u 2 come back

I maybe dat sad girl in pain

But I am not da same!

I m his, n things arenot what we once had

But did we even have anything ?

Except for those damned cold night memories!!

N I will walk off cuz I wanna b able 2 face the mirror

When I stand infronta it not 2day but    …. some years later.

Ode 2 a Traitor

U owe to her, those promises

Which u once boasted about

Which now r chained in ur fences

Who knows when would they come out?

U owe to her “ a last goodbye kiss

A diamond necklace, a finger ring

Your house’s keys n ur so mean heart”

Who knew u could lie this hard

U owe to her  loads – the stars, the moon

Which once u said would surely come true

Like Science made TNT N Atom Bombs

Like Chemists made switchers n drugs

Man made a peace loving heart

Which kills n commits suicide when it loves

She owes to u, oh betrayer!

2 get her besotted 2 a strayer

2 giv her dose nice, unforgetful days

No matter now they would never cum her way

U came like spring

2 harness her love

N left this bird

With broken wings

An elegiac – sad pain in her poems

Cant u feel or u don’t feel like to?

U enjoyed  and now u have walked off

N was that what u were born to do?

When u c her eyes swollen

N her heart findin men filthy

N her emotions have got her broken

N with all dis, don’t u ever feel guilty???

U gave her joys, those of friendly cheers

A love bestowed, n a guy so dear

N now, a sinking heart with emotions so strong

Tears like blood so eminent to flow

As a bird with broken wings

May try – but can never fly

As all the leaves in Autumn

May try – but wind takes them for a flight

As a sinkin ship n a breakin home

May try – but its impossible 2 survive

N like 'em she may try but would end up in pain

N all her emotions would go in vain

B’cuz of a lover like u, she would pay

N would never love again !!

Those dark nights!

Those dark  nights  drowned by my tears

Those stupid love songs which tore my ears

Those uncountable wishes I made from the Moon

Wonderin’ would I eva  get over u!

Ur  sweet words melted my line b/w stupidity n sense

Ur  friends sat there makin fun of my innocence

N I darkened my imaginations wondering what would u do

If I die somehow, but I was never alive for u!

N I sat there thinkin wud u too b thinkin of me?

So now u have many haters including me

Dose pens which I emptied writin songs on u

Dose friends of mine who died listenin about u

Those stars I avoided for the moon

And 4 all of them, i would be comin soon.

Little plastic horses

Medicines for a patient

Treatment for the injured

Lives for a nation

But what’s for a broken heart?

It’s a vex that humans have developed!

They fuckin live with their fake faces on.

Fake love has always worked!!

Unfortunately, not on humans, but on pet dogs!

Desert woes

I hug my folded legs to my chest

I wish I was never caught in this desert

I have been dying for 1 drop of water n breath

Hw ironical, 4 my eyes shed oceans!

I have been aiming to be a star

Inspite Knowing how stars break down 2 pieces

N I thank god 4 who I am, with all my heart

- no actually, with whatever’s left of it .

walk over

I feared to seem a coward in your eyes

Oh! God grant me the power 2 b wise!

2 ask u 2 love me- I wrote a song

A love dats not too arrogant , not too bold

I loved u once, like a dope

With all my heart, w/o any hope

What feelings, despairs, and jealous pangs I knew

Hope your duplicate betrayer God grants U!

Love Note

HELLO  PEOPLE, I AM GONNA NARRATE U A LETTER

A LETTER KEPT SECRETELY N SWEETLY BY A GIRL

A LOVE STINKING PAGE BY A BETRAYER

FOR HIS SO-CALLED LOVE!!

“Listen girl, I am starting off

Wish me luck n have patience on

Don’t give that killin smile please

I cant afford 2 skip heartbeats

M I dead n if I not

Then how come is a fairy around?

M I God n if not

Then how come is a Goddess been found?

A falling star n I make a wish

To touch u feel u again on my lips

A full moon n I give a cry

How perfect would it be to have u by my side

Moon can c and so can da stars

But y has God sent u so far?

That u cant even c me, my pain, my life

N cant even imagine how I survive

Cold winds hiss – n u r missed

A bird sings – n u r missed

Moon can c and so can da stars

But then u like to be as cold as u r

Look at me, 4 me n 4get urself for a while

N maybe then u will know how difficult it is 2 live my life

My mind can flip – my life might drip

I have become crazy – love-sick

I have changed myself – all for u

How can u say that’s not enough for 2 do

Moon can c and so can da stars

Wish u were anyone – wish I had da powers

But u r nt,  u r a stone – but how can u be!

Cuz I am a stone – u have always told me!

U cant understand n I cant defend

I have no powers – tis over, its time to end

All I have r my words

N I love u like a man man, girl

Moon can c and so can da stars…”

SORRY PEOPLE THE LETTER FROM HERE WAS TORN APART

LOST IN JUNGLE, GOT WET IN THE MIST

UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE IT-

 2 ADD ANOTHER 1 ON DA BETRAYER’S LIST!

SO HERE IT GOES  .. “Moon can c n so can da stars

Thank God u r too far

2 c my face, expressions, my smile

N 2 b able 2 make out that I am lying!! “

Dear Luce!

Dear Luce,

I stand here, wiping my tears

Without which my survival is a Question Mark!

I stand here with my fulfilled fear

To never get a broken heart!!

They say, girlfriends get diamond necklaces

Yes! He never gave me one!!

But does that prove I was a mere fun?

I cant remember him tellin me he is mine!

Anymore than I can remember when I first learnt 2 tell time

But his fingers did magic 2 me

Wouldnot be “this” his love?

Rather  AGAIN my stupidity?

Yeah! I have his pic – but not one together

 N yeah when it rained last night

We did not walk back under the same umbrella

No! I dunno if he owns a vehicle

Never was I taken 4 a ride in 1

No! I cant recognize his handwritin too

For he never wrote me a love note

So many questions put him wrong

But my heart yells loud

Nothing from him but a baby in my womb

What do U think I do now, to live on??

I wont tell U

U r standing there, just by my side
I walk out cuz I try to hide –

I like you.

cuz when I see U

I think I feel my heart skip a beat
U r so unaware and I can hardly breathe – 

You got me. 

Like a dead shot duck!

N I cant tell u. Its not normal like everyone‘s.

but I don’t care, I still have fun!

I know what my life was missing till now

Tho v r nt 2gether, I feel complete sumhow

I wont tell u, cuz I wont wanna make another mistake

But I must confess that All the day,

My head is stuck in a cloud of rain

Of thoughts n wishes I myt never say

Like U r so beautiful, it is so surreal.

But of all the things I will never do

One of them is, all this, I wont tell U !

I Dont Know

i dont know if i will be any less lonely

i dont know, if i will sleep well in da coming nights

i dont know, if xmas would be merry or valentines happy

but i know there WONT be more of ur lies or my goodbyes

You didnot ask, i didnot say

u didnot beg, i didnot stay

now that i am sure its over,

i dont know if its for worse or better

but had it not, in another day or two

u wud have got me thinkin i am in love with u

i dont know, who was at fault? you or me?

i dont know, y u couldnot see

But da truth remains

u did not even notice

that there was a white tissue paper in my hand

with which I was busy wiping the tears of my eyes

and that I Couldn't say anything to your questions

Cause I knew that then I would choke out n begin to cry

But you didnot ask, i didnot say

u didnot beg, i didnot stay

now i know all da things we knew

that we would definitely do

turned out to be the ones

that we never would

right now, i dont know whats love

or what has made me so lonely

i cant say , right now, who is more hurt

is it you or is it me only?

i didnot take alot with me

just them damned memories

of us dancing in da rain

of u, when u had not changed

but u didnot ask, what kud i say?

u didnot beg, i could not stay !

left everything and left my soul,

our photos, my heart and sanity of my mind

i dont know what hurts more..

what i brought along, or what i left behind

its too much and maybe i need a bottle of whiskey tonight

but atleast the burden does not weigh in kilograms

n maybe its not what i left behind

maybe its what i brought along.

oh n all this wont have changed.. only if u had asked me to stay

but the truth is u didnot ask, i didnt say

u didnot beg, i wanted to stay !