Shut you out

You were heavy-handed, heavy-hearted,
When you bid goodbye and plane departed,
I knew it’s the last time I saw a bit of you,
The last time for a long time or the last time for good.
And you got off the plane and I received a text from you,
It was a pic of the town too cold to let go of you,
And then I sent a forlorn picture and you sent one too,
And then missing began and forgetting slipped in too,
And I don’t know if you know but I’m sure you do,
When you see a shooting star,
it’s just falling for you,
& I asked him to look after your sleeping hours,
when you awe at the new-familiarity of the Moon.
And now the matchobox isn’t kept where it once used to,
in the left top 2nd drawer in your bathroom,
And now you aren’t the face behind my lit cigarette,
Sitting in front of me on that couch you lifted and brought out,
Nor the guy behind the incessant texting,
Pulling me back in while I'm trying my best to shut you out.
Should have shut you out.

And I know it could get better or it could fade into the dust,
I’ll tell you "Asshole, It was easy" if you tell me to fight for you,
Or tell me it’s not working with this time zone and white girls,
And I’ll tell you "Babe, it is easy, I anyway don’t care about you.
I had shut you out long before you knew."
So get out of my blog page, and text me a hey,
So I check it and not reply and shut you out all day,
And then you get mind-fucked
and annoy me like you then did.
Cuz I fucking miss you
and your no-mercy no-compassion obnoxious banter,
And I miss being a dick till I’m on your every bloody nerve,
And I miss the auto ride listening to country songs,
and waking up, hoping there was more to the dawn,
And I miss you and I miss your every single word.
So come back or text me when you get sick of the town,
and sick of the cold wind messing your hair,
Cuz how am I supposed to shut you out now?
When you aren’t even there.