Time 2 re-string that barb wire fence round my heart

Well! I followed a few blogs today… so thought why not make my blog my journal too!

Cant pretty much write a poem everytime I wanna pen these feelings right?

So I have been unwell pretty much this whole month.. except for every now and then when God thought it kind enough to bestow his grace of health on Me.

I  just registered myself on eHarmony.com !! 
hahaha u wont find THE ONE unless u check *everywhere* for him! ;)

I am feeling better ..its 5 am in the morning IST btw.. been awake reading blogs since 10pm last night..

So yeah Its nice to see there are heaps of girls out there with ditto same problems that I have, who think it is *just as hard* to fight them as I think mine are. But now, I think maybe I don’t have any problem… well! What is my problem.. some stupid average-looking jerk I met.. and thought maybe he is THE ONE for me? Honestly…. M I kidding myself???

I mean, even when we were on…. I couldnot have told my friends that I was dating him, Cuz There were people who would've killed me if they had heard that we were back together... again.

The whole back and forth thing they were sick of, and so was I.  This whole "keeping it quiet" thing was the downfall. cuz I cant be the type of girl who will be ok dating without naming it…exclusive of course!and then his whole extra active hormones... yeah! u know what I am coming to... his Cheating Affairs.. Well , lets just call Him *The Cheat Machine*. I was SICK AND TIRED to every muscle in my body to smell cheating once in 2 months.
AND just so that u know, my intuition power is beyond correct!
and still i had taken this whole new avatar of God..of second chances! 
Instead of feeling grateful and loved to have his GOSC(God of second chances) by his side.. physically and mentally... he started taking me for granted! Like, I was the GOSC who forgave his every fuck up.. whether it was not replying to texts for 2 days or making me cry and not running after me to make up for it or it was eyeing another chic or "having a little fling". Ohh! thank my good manners, I never beat the shit out of him!

And then he comes up with a more fucked up idea than what he already is… that is, lets err stay the-glorious-word *friends*!

Cuz that would “keep me around you…always!”  and the same cliché’ that these jerks have been using since Victorian Era “Lets keep in touch”

. Uhh... .righttt..... like I will be dumb-head enough anymore to continue to waste my time doing that. I will be too busy with better people and better things. For I am well worth it.

And I have learnt it the *light* way - *I will never in my life give a second chance to any guy… unless he really deserves.

And like a free spirited mind I have, I rambled on to what car I wanna buy when I’ld start earning.. well, so *My first car would be BMW , though 3series Coroporate… in max 4 years from now…

OORRR if i dont have the moolah, Purple Civic.. I have an uncanny attachment to this car.

And another thing *if a guy sings me Justin Bieber’s “One Less Lonely Girl” or Bon Jovi’s “I’ll be there for You”.. my heart would melt =)) <3 and because my Perfect Stranger wont know about my blog.. so he must be luuuckkkyy enough to come up with any of these songs… :))

And another thing…*I wanna sing I don’t wanna Miss a Thing with Steven Tyler once… and Sweet Thing with Keith Urban.. I would give ANYTHING for a song with them… or maybe a kiss too … aaaaaaaaaaaaawwww!

*I love dressing up… that’s my new thing.

 and i have a little crush on this boy from Seattle :P

he is soooooo cute... and i cant stop myself to wonder how cute his American sexy carefree accent must be! I am skyping him all night these days! well, maybe life takes a painful turn so that you can realize its NOT THAT painful, actually :)

so we were just discussing how vulnerable I am to heart-breaks.. and he said the cutest thing to Me... either it is my soft inclination towards him that makes it cute... or the way he says *everything* ouch! attachment, again! not  a good idea!

 Seattle Boy:  Let them in but don't let your guard down, you should be able to kick them out anyday

Keep your shit straight have some rules you go by don't disclose them 

And if you see him fuckup once.. bye bye 
Man up . Dont be a girl

and he can actually make me quit smoking... with the kinda thing he says... aaaaaaaw!!!

ONLY if he stayed a little closer... i dont ,at all, mind considering moving up there...(yeah dirtily too! ) if we ever part ways, i would atleast have my very favourite, i.e. Snow!

AND then there is this guy.... my ex.... like we dated when we were kids. He is so mature and grown up, now. Its cute! lets call him , Lets name him *Young Moolah* cuz he is of my age and is totally into rapping.. he has even sung his original covers. 
He looks, speaks, smiles, talks EXACTLY like Ashton Kutcher. And i have the biggest possible crush on Ashton. And maybe we might just end up having our own *A Lot Like Love* <3

I have thought so wrong abut him .. all these years. He is totally attractive, has those dark black puppy eyes that make u wanna fall in love with them *too bad I wont now* and his heavily husky voice and Indian-American accent and a touch of hip-hop to it makes him so irresistible. * too bad I would* And I told him I am not dating any guy anysoon... I cant afford another drama of gettin attached then getting detached.. and he went like "Dont worry, I am always there. though more than a friend." aaaaawww! but i didnt show that his words make me go weak in the knees!
He is so corporate smart... and i remember one day, when I asked him about internship jobs.. he gave me the link... and i went like 
Me: "Did u go on google... n found this link.. n copied n pasted it for me?"
YM: "Yes"
Me: "Thats so nice of U!"
maybe i wasnot used 2 being treated like that with my ex *The Cheat Machine* around.. of course, he didnot have enough time to manage amongst so many girls he was jumbling at the same time! 
YM: lmao


later last night, when we were chatting.. I asked him
ME: "U should read my poems , if u wanna know how sad I am"
YM: "I dont wanna know how sad u r. I will show u how happy u r"


that was the sweeeetest thing i had heard in a long long long time of more than 2 years!

annnnddd there is *Fab* .. met him just once... but he is one of the sweetest guys ever.

Fab:  February 12 at 3:43am Report

u can definitely move on... look at u... u give life to others.. noone can take it from u ...

Me:  February 12 at 3:44am

i dont give life to anyone. 

Fab: February 12 at 3:49am Report

u obviously dont do that intentionally...!! u wudnt ever realise also for that matter... 

I really dont know wat u r goin thru nw... but I want to take u away from it...

Me:  February 12 at 4:06am

ill try

Fab: February 12 at 4:09am Report

shutup n do it now! wat try.. aint askin u to win d PGA tour!

Well! there are some guys who give you a mile when you give them an inch... and then there are some whom you give 10 billion acres and , not a single muscle in their body would budge. argh, sickness.

 Thats for today. buenas noches :*