If I had..

If I had 2 more hands, I would have hugged u
as i packed my bags, n pulled u along as i fell for u!

In and out of love, again i start doubtin love

Wish I have another face, when i am all alone
I would talk straight faced, and cry away from da phone!
& if i had another mouth i could always carry around
I would kiss u hard while i talked out my heart.

but i fall in and out of love
in da end, start doubtin' love.

Only if I had eyes in the back of my head
I could have seen more of u as i walked away!
but not having all this also has a greener shade
b'cuz then u kud have seen me cry as i stormed away!

Must have been Love !

I liked how u held my hand, it did magic 2 me!
Now its 2 much weight 2 stand,
& no one here 2 rescue me!


Running after every girl u got,
& none of them close 2 even haute!
Now say sorry after U drove me so crazy n mad!
Another shot, and I ‘ld be checkin in a rehab!


U melted  my line b/w right n wrong
I m so hurt, cant even remember sinc hw long!
So Who gave u da idea u r Irreplaceable?
When u actually r just another picture 2 burn!


& there’s he, so incredible n sensible!
Makes all my friends wanna take him!
So nice, calls me pretty, never makes me wait
& I don’t even know Y I thot ours was a fairytale!


I knew if I ever date him, he wouldnt sting!
Still I wasted all my time on a dick!
Someone who came around 2 dim my shine!
I must have gone crazy, must have been blind!

So it must have been Love !! but m outta it now!
Loved how u called me baby, now it irritates me deep down!
U shot me, sugar, down 2 my roots!
Ah Must have thought I was bulletproof..!

The Other Side

Ofcourse there always is a first and the last time
& so unaware U r, of when they would come & go by
Your first touch, first kiss, & da first verses that U write
turn into nothing but wasted affection, words & time !

Its weird how something so ugly and dirty
can look so pretty and celestial at a time
and You keep on blindly running to reach
so unaware of what awaits u on The Other Side !

& when u do reach that fucking place
u c its not even close 2 what u thought it as
& there r no butterflies, clouds or sunshine
Trust me, there aint a worse place than The Other Side !

Apathy !

 

Stupid enough, I din c dat all u wr givin' me

wer just dese, cold rude late night memories !

Must hav been so hard 4 U 2 reach me

when u were makin' love 2 Apathy..!

U'ld abrade my heart til it's abt 2 die

n grow cold 2 an intolerable degree

it's hard 2 sleep wid u happily tonight

when u r waking up with Apathy

Gave u a look n U got me blind

Served u my heart n on my soul U dined !

it's hard 2 picturize u & me

when u r gettin' married 2 Apathy..!

Build me up 2 break me down!

okay! So i had not planned to write another one this fast. Its almost 2 am, luckily, there is nothing that kills ME, or creeps my insides, or makes me want to curl up and die.

But there was one thing i knew the very second it struck 12 on a new year's night this year, that this was not going to be a happy year for those in an affair/love. 

Everyone around me broke up, i mean, couples who were dating for sooo soo long broke up. like, couples u thought would stick together for better or for worse, would suck vivacity out of each other and will die married!

(okay! that is my irritation speakin so bad for 'em, but trust me! it IS kinda irritatin' 2 see your friends dating one person for ages and ages. 

and then our facebook is used as a weapon 2 show-off or boast abt their "made in heaven" affair, which leads 2 the damned wall posts on each other's walls, or dedicated statuses, or saccharine photo comments, uh! pathetic! get a fuckin' room! >-< )

okay! maybe i AM jealous, but cmon! its not like i want 2! 

but whatever, doesnot matter! i would instead stay single than date a dirty, lecherous, cheap, sick loser who has eyes open for opportunities 2 get anyone who walks on 2 legs! haha! i got on someother shit, yeah! so gettin my mind back on track..

so maybe this aint the right time 2 bitch about such couples' togetherness, cuz everyone is breakin' up! uh! "breathe and sail through" 4 all of  'em! and not only them, but so many other people who had dated or wanted to date, i mean y'know all that attraction thing, it all is just breakin' up, everyone around me is sad! THAT is sad! :\

i TOTALLY am on da break-up team, no matter if it is MY own. i mean, if one of you wants 2 break up, then trust me, let go! 

Try gettin' in their shoes, Just think what if YOU wanted 2 break up, and your partner WONT let go of you! Just cuz he has a habit of being with you or just being yours. like WTF???

You should always do what you would want others to do to you.

its like holding on to something that aint yours! or like tryna grab a bird/kitten when all it wants 2 do is fly/run away, theres nothin that u r gonna get at the end of da day, yeah! maybe scratches!

okay! atleast i dont want scratches! no one should.

 So yeah, cmon! Life is too short, Get over it & Move on!

Eventually one of the two things will happen :

He'll finally realize that you're worth it. Or you'll finally realize that he isn't!
Wiser always is the latter!

 Or you can enjoy this moment, be a little mesochistic, and enjoy this phase! there are milliona nice songs for heart-brokens and if this phase wont come, then who will listen 2 them! Cmon sadness aint that bad, if you play with it and not the vice versa!
Wow! i do sound sad, emo, goth, mesochist, sadist!! hahaha but cumawn! m just open 2 ideas, cut it.

A Romantic or a Misanthrope?

Okay well! This is my officially First ever blog.
okay so i wont give out my real name here, not acting pricey but I just wont :) , so lets call me Bad Romance!
I am 20 & an English Literature student, i believe Karma is a bitch! & "what goes around comes back around" thing! I try my best 2 b nice 2 people, but it never really helps! So, at the end of the day, wounded, i do choose my best defense which of course is being bitchy! & 4 all those who thnk its an outrageous thing 2 say n b , trust me! u yet need 2 c da world..!! n no one ever can define da term "outrageous/ grotesque/ strange/ weird" , it depends from person 2 person n era to era.
okay! So, i "LOUVE" reading  Shakespeare, he is GOD, man! and romantic fictional novels, ah! they r felicity! I am a huge fan of Mills & boon type , Jane Austen cause I think every girl can relate 2 her novels and I have this irrevocable thing for Mr. Darcy, he is EVERYTHING i want my man 2 b!

My relationships dont ever work out lol, not that it bothers me (4 long) but i have just come 2 know y they eventually turn blood red, its cuz i am riveted 2 this fictional world where everything is pretty & nice, where there is only 1 guy for a girl! & so it takes me sometime 2 understand how wrong i am, but like an old dog, i dont learn my tricks for long n forget 'em soon enough! & i think i am a cynic or a misanthrope or a HUGE romantic, or a combi of 'em all!
i am currently reading a Harlequin Romance (Dont let him set u on fire!), it says "No girl would come 2 the New Zealand backcountry unless she was in love with a man!" I bought this book only cuz it spoke of *New Zealand* and cuz my sister is helplessly n hopelessly in and totally in for this cute guy who puts up in NZ. She has his pics saved on her laptop, and what not! Lets not invade her personal cute thing 4 him cuz she will read my blog too! :D
So yeah life is soo pretty in these books, I wish i happen 2 b one character of these m&b novels, i wont ask 4 more! i guess thats every girl's dream! atleast it is mine! 2 have my Mr. Perfect come one day n sweep me off my feet! i think i would know when i see him, cuz there wont b any1 like him around, oh! thats so poorly cute of me 2 think such shits!
So yeah about me, I am a very impetuous person, like VERY! i dont take a second 2 fuck up if it gets on my nerves, I think thats very cute! cuz i detest people who r da opposite of impulsiv. i would cateogarize them as boring, over-mature n sad! n dat sure is a pathetic thing 2 b! i crazily hate sycophants, hypocrites, liars n opportunists. According to me, they dont have guts/confidence/balls 2 stand on wat they do or are. Sad topic, cut it.
n i speak alot, only wid da people i know, i have heaps n heaps of opinions, from smoking to feminism, and yeah i m a feminist, i guess every english literature student is!
& i DONT watch hindi songs or movies! it is a very wanna-be west thing 2 say, but i just dont enjoy them!& i have totally NO clue about what song is being played, if it is a  hindi song. i am not tryna sound cocky about this, but i find 'em fake n i dont want 2 participate n help them in collecting their wealths 4 shit productions & acting like they do!
Well! that would be it, from now on i would be more precise in my writings :) lets hope!
Peace, Fashion, Felicity & <3

xoxo

My Kinda Guy :D

If I get 2 meet Keith Urban, it would be a moment of felicity + raptures + excitement + nervousness + hallow tummy wid butterflies + happiness, what not!
Like I say,
“Hey Keith Urban, I kud give u 50 reasons ,

Y I should b da girl for U!

All those other girls, Well! They r beautiful!

But would they write a poem for U?" =)

Anyway, My current mood : In a state of turmoil ! Y? cuz:
Da desired, tempting fictional men don’t exist !
& da existing men aren’t tempting ! :’(

I am reading a mills&boon typa, & fuck! I hate da guys around me! I regret dating the jerks I dated !
There is NO “man” left on earth, they are all caught up in these books, n the awesomely made h’wood movies (some of them)!
Well, I don’t mind “boys”, they have their charm.
But REALLY?!?! There aint a guy that I have come across yet, who is worth me.
It FUCKIN’ sux! :\
No guy 2 gimme those feelings that Keith Urban does when I listen 2 his “Sweet Thing” or ANY of his perniciously beautiful songs.
So yeah! WHAT is my kind? I dunno! & maybe that’s y I go out wid da wrong lot.
They are EVERYTHING u would NOT want your man 2 b! It is extremely, pathetically sad! Not even THAT is sad!
What is SAD is the fact dat there R people out there who are going to use u to show u around as their girl or as their friend, in the end pullin u down or breaking your heart, or (in my case) atleast spoiling your peace of mood and mind.
It's absolutely disgusting - the lengths to which someone would go!
I have barely set a foot outside the closet and last thing I would want is something like this to bring me down.
I am breathing and sailing through it. There r no scary tides as Rumors had it! When da guy aint worth U, u dont take a sec 2 move on, i took half a sec!! haha

It’s now just funny 2 me, how they cheat on u, back stab u or lie 2 u, and r da biggest infidel creatures ever, they have their dirty dark secrets, n they forget the rules of a secret,
"Hidden secrets have a way of showing up when u LEAST expect ‘em 2 bite u in the ass!"
i dont care anymore! they rnt my sons, that i would care about their slum-mud behaviour !
So go on cheating boys, i dont give a fuck! Anyway u only lie 2 dose whom u care about! like i lie 2 my lecturers! :D
So yeah now first thing I have done is, know MY kind!
- gotta b “Tall”
- “Strong” enough 2 pick me or crush me !
- Has to have loadsa “Class” & “Personality”, which is missin’ in EVERYONE these days, wish it was purchasable!
- & he gotta be “oh-so-HAUTE” that I cant think of anyone when I am with/without him.
- he shud be “Passionate” enough that when with him, I cant think!
- “Reserved & Loyal”, I HATE infidelity.
Accordin’ 2 me, an unfaithful guy is similar 2 da guys bred in slums!
- He better be “Crazy”. I detest boring, sad people.
-He should be a 1 woman’s man! I m scared of da easy guys these days, I don’t want STD!
-He should “argue/fight” with me! I don’t like things easy! Haha that’s sure crazy.
-shud hav goood Sensa Humour! I like 2 laugh! :D

And oh! Gawd m kinda in louve with this character Scott Wardell from my current novel. Fuckin’ shit, how I hate unpolished, bland n boring guys!
I need my haaaaaute, passionate, crazy dawg! :D

Rules 4 a Bitch!

Never limit yourself to one good-looking guy
Wallow in bitchiness & yet act so nice !
Dont just give it to them- make it a little hard
Dont ever be just another girl at the bar

She wont ever fuck with U
They would still be stuck on U
& ur heart is way beyond access
& u r more unapproachable than any actress

U can nag, complain, kill or snitch
Cuz baby there are NO rules for a bitch

xoxo

Feminism

It's good u are a woman,
trust me, n not a man!

Men have thickets of brows & beards instead of a face!
& there's hardly a thing in them that u can praise!
Psycho,  Hypocrite, Loser & Hater is he !
One greater than another in absurdity !

U r a pretty creature & he- an ugly desperate hound,
But U must go on lovin' life without a moan or a sound!
May U never get 2 c his dreaded game
May it (game) never come in your life again
U have been through a lot on stormy days
But may your face never show a ray of pain

U see these men- who have much more than U ever got
But it's your stoicism that has made U so hot
May the rain in your eyes convert 2 spring
Cuz even God knows the wars U battled- not many could win!

& God chose U well, because a man in this mess
Would have eaten the flesh on bones & angels in hell !

Going, Going, Gone!

U were as real & fake as one could be !
like the Outsider who wept louder than the bereaved
When u got drunk, there sure was a bar fight !
U wr my sunshine, my summer wine!

.....

& It's been so long, I felt just anything for U
Dunno if there's any cure, Dunno if there's anythin we can do
Just some years ago, we could have died for this
n now we would almost die in this !

All I have from U are the scars u gave, & years 2 wait
before u would condescend 2 save me from this rain
I dunno what went wrong & where dis our love go
Now we wont even kiss under the Mistletoe !

Moonlight can be Dangerous!

I never thought She could do this 2 Me
Deprive a sound-man of his sanity !
Or maybe it's da Moon mixed wid da gloom of this eve.
that rises flames from da dead ashes buried in Me

& There's a strange delicious tingling in her veins upto her thighs
Sure She knows It has got something 2 do with da Moonlight
cuz never before she felt her heart thud dis bad in her throat
never before her spirit reached out so bad to meet my soul !

So maybe, I will blame this moonlight
that makes her look even more beautiful tonight
She knows it stirs the Devil in us
Ah Hell! Moonlight can be dangerous!

White Wild Horse =)

He knows I am a House of Cards
&  still he moves around me so fast!
makes me messy, fucks my hair up
& then just sits and has fun.
He will come, talk 2 me, and start takin' my breath away
& then complain I can't conversate !

He comes stands so close 2 me! Just close enough - 2 touch,
close enough - I could hear him breathe hard
Close enough - he could feel my heart skip beats yet beat so fast
Close Enough- he could just pick me in those arms
Carry me on a White Wild Horse
and ld say " Baby 2gether V r destined 2 b doomed"
&  I say "but then even that will be so pretty wth U :)"

Storm -tossed !

Can't U c, U r like a Wild heavy mad horse
& I'm a timid rabbit scared of da tiniest storm!
Don't go all crazy in your stupid horse race baby
U might run me down, & I'll be Storm-tossed!

All around us are dark black storm-clouds
& my little heart is scared, I'll never be found!
U r so busy running dat u cant even c
dat it's gonna thunder & u're leaving me

Can't u c u r a fuck-crazy thunderstorm
& I'm a timid rabbit scared of da tiniest storm!
Don't have fun in blowin' houses off baby
I live in one of them, & I'll be Storm-tossed!

Will He ever know?

To start it off, there's not much i know abt my baby
except that kissing him long can kill me! =)
tasting him makes my heart thump like crazy
holding him long makes it tough for breathing!

and as I stand there, trying my hardest bit
not to look too nervous, so fucking dumb-sick !
He covers the distance n comes n hugs me
Ask me! There's not a greater relief ! :)

Every next time, its a new magic
Everytime he is as hot as i m stupid
n when he is close enough, i just wish he cant c
dat i can even miss out a storm around me ! :\

He agrees with me that v wont fall in love
but i smile n pray " I hope that doesnt work ! " :P
& at nights when he is sleeping like a dork
I sit here wondering "Does he know? Will he EVER know?"

Broken Bottle

City lights lay out before us
& I cant find a way 2 run
U had me in a bottle
M happy something broke it down!

Cuz all this time I was dreamin of U
She was the one who was sleeping with U
Now U'll come up with 50 new reasons
Save ur breath, cuz this time U neednt

U fuck up every next second & tell me V can work it!
Cmon! Now how many times havnt I heard this
Kneel down on the floor, n tell me now u love me more
But cmon! how many times havnt u said this before !

So, It's time u take ur fuck-face home, babe !
Too bad, you should know, It's too late!
Go cry with that sad choice of woman u have got
4 u, even your mamma knows, m wayyy TOO haute!

Got Me like OH!

Okay, so I read a novel, n gawd! dis guy got me like OH!
So what gets YOU like OH!?

(I had written a nice one on this, and I cut it, deleted da file and right clicked on my blog and saw BANG! NOTHING!)
Anyway now what ima do is, take the hint y God did that, n make the most of it, instead of being sad.
So, now what I m gonna do is, I wont tell u what gets ME like OH! I will write what gets most/some/all of us like OH!
And u sit and decide what gets ME like OH! Not that u need 2 :)

So yeah what gets U/Me like OH!
Is it:

umm life on Billboards, Fame, Spotlight, Louve, being loved, etc?

Or To visit the great lost abandoned city of the Incas - Machu Picchu, with the greater ruins that has made it SO pretty, or maybe Iceland, or Antarctica,or maybe somewhere in the Northern hemisphere to see the “dance of spirits”, Aurora Borealis, that’s what my sister wants!

Or a shirtless Taylor Lautner in rain or our very pouty Channing Tatum or meeting Shane West or Ashton Kutcher.

Or Meeting someone who brings butterflies in your hallow tummy, makes you nervous + excited + full of felicity n raptures. =)

Or like, being out, with your people, on the hills in a cold nice weather, or being out on a white sand beach with dark clouds playing all over it, and a light blue sea stretched infront like a sheet.

Maybe some Christian Louboutin’s deadly pumps, Or Victoria Bekham’s designed dresses, a Gucci/Chanel hand bag, Cadillacs or an Aston Martin?

Or just reading / watching a crazily Romantic fiction.

Singing your fav song with your fav singer on a stage infronta thousands n thousands of people at night, Spotlight’s on! (Keith Urban/Steven Tyler/Def Leppard or so on) – Well! That gets anyone like OH!

Umm, Bungee jumping where in the end u hit the mad-river, or/and white water rafting in the GREAT rapids, that sure gives you a crazy unsupportive feeling in your feet/tummy respectively, da scariest fear n da loudest laugh! :D its AWESOME!

Hmm! Or like to live your life in a pad on the 12th floor or a house facing a beach in the US or any Oceanic country.

Or A moonlight stroll with your girl/guy where when u stumble on a rough patch and he holds you tight, or umm, like when he opens the car door for you, or something he says/does that makes you blush, gives your cheeks da colour red.

Or like when a guy offers you his jacket in cold =) Doesnt that get any girl down like a dead shot duck? :D

By the way guys, my blog has 40 visitors since 30th jan, which is AWESOME!
I wonder who you nice people are =))
but Thanks so much, means a lot!
Much Louve!

Light my fire, babe!

Today, I think maybe I AM addicted 2 smokin’.
It’s a “beautiful” thing, brings you closer 2 da nature at 2am, when U stand & smoke in the fog on your roof.
It’s a loner’s thing, 2 smoke with music webbed 2 ur ears, or sit alone & talk 2 urself n let the time n the world pass by.
It’s a creative thing, to sit n think or talk 2 someone.
It’s a social thing, when U ask someone for a light, or get to know someone over a smoke. A smoker always has a soft corner for a fellow class-mate smoker, I do! I have “Smoking Rules”! Take for example, No fellow smoker leaves until da last smoker has taken his last drag!
Smoking is a stress buster thing, it’s a get-ur-head-spin-4-2secs thing, it’s a break from studies thing.
For those who have never smoked, they better not butt in, cuz they would “never” know!

What will happen 2 me?

(Okay this is not 4 Any particular guy actually..

Just a humorous poem of what it will be like if i fall 4 any of my juniors in College,

haha.. let's not demean the boys, they might be really haute :P , but wotever. Cmon It's all good fun :D )

U can't climb my window-pane, & said would NEVER change !
& I thought Baybee - What will happen 2 me? :P
Wid a guy like U - Who needs more tissues
in a Movie - Things sure'ld b messy !
But I Louve it all wid U - All da things dat U do
The way U touch me - Although it's girly !

U got me crazy in your spell -
&I got Somethings I 'ld never tell
Like how bad ur Band sucks -
U can juz rock in imaginations !
But U got some shine in U -
Got ME writin' a song 4 U
& I'm like Baybee -
V r SO shit-meant 2 b !

With a Boy like U - Who has got no tattoos
I think U'ld just b - Something useless & pretty !
Ah! da way U laugh - But cant hold me hard !
I think Baybee - What'll happen 2 Me ?
& da way U kiss Me -Not a fraction man-ly
U r just a Baby - How still about U, I'am crazy !

Unrequited!

haha! tell Me that You louve me,
So what She's the one You call.
Tell Me that You have missed Me
All these days you ignored my calls..!

I wait & I hope for your name to appear on my frikkin' phone
But Guess! It's cool even if the damn thing's thrown!
There are zillion things I am ashamed 2 disclose
One is the urge to cry- Stuck in my bloody throat!

I wish You were a bit sensible, a little mature too,
It shocks me to think How I got on the boat with You!
Thanx 2 You, there's not one pang unexplored,
Not even one emotion returned, not a single craziness adored!

But with all your mean-ness getting on my fuckin' nerves
& when in "We were once together", "Were" kinda hurts
I'ld tell You - I think I'ld have split, had You not done the efforts
You know they say "We are forced 2 louve, cuz none dare louve us!"

My heart's incessant thoughts about you run apace
& now each day is the same shade of grey
& what kinda louve is yours, that leaves 1 betrayed?
Oh! Pray! Had I rather UN-loved stayed!

Lived on an Island, whose You didnot know the way,
Cut off from every hour that makes your Day,
Existed to bloom & die - like a Rose of the Wild!
Just like here, but with unbroken heart died!

Dinning with a Wreck!

Got the World in a Jug, Got the stopper in my hand
After I dumped a woman who thought She was a Man..!
Love is like a Wench, turns on n off like a Wench
& While U thought It was on Baby, It turned off and went..!

Now Louve says "Sit down & have some love-meat"
But with the kinda Men It offered, U think I'ld eat?
Now It's Ashes to Ashes, baby, It's Dust to Dust
U gotta show me a man, baby, that acts like One..!

U said I whine & rant! cuz I'm broken n have not moved on..!
But baby with a face like yours - U think I could have loved U any long?

I remember that night - my swirling wants, your frozen lips
Your empty eyes, my backless dress yet untouched hips
U grabbed my arm, acted sexy- brushing past the wall
Acting like a man- U think u r a Man at all?

Oh! What a night It was!The Cold, then U, What a Hell!
Never again will I dine with a Wreck
But now I got my Drink in my Jug, World in my hand
After I dumped the Woman who thought She was a Man..!

Just a Fan !

(This piece is for my veeeerrrryyyyy sexy Keith Urban n 2 all his songs that make me gooo lala!
in da kitchen, on da floor, i would be his french maid when i meet him on da door! haha 
So Keithie, U can dress me up in Diamonds, U can dress me up in dirt. You can throw me like a line-man. I like it better when It hurts! ♥)

Going out with my friends on a Weekend
Saw U 4 Real, not on a big Movie-frame
Took a minute 2 breathe - Shit! I'm freakin!
fantasizin about what I've always been dreamin'

Seein' U, Da hotty, I have always seen on Cable,
Prayin' with all my heart, U'ld come over 2 my table,
Ignore da Crowd,& pick me up, pull me in closer,
Put your hands on my waist, I'll be your order

But your popularity aint mint, boy! Lets get lost in da Bar,
Babe, u r so horse-strong, I cnt kiss, U gimme CPR!
U must be from heaven - No! I'm sure U r!
They must have sent U on a shootin' Star

Gawd! I louve ur arms, Im sure dey can easily pick me up,
I need guts, So I think I'ld go get drunk,
U leave me breathless, Baby u r da man,
Can't u c, m so much mo' dan just a fan!